Since we're the nicest people in the world, yesterday we were looking at how to offer to do things for people.

The last construction we saw was ～ てあげる：

持ってあげるよ。
もって　あげる　よ
I'll carry that for you.
Literally: "carry and + give (you) + よ."

手伝ってあげるよ。
てつだって　あげる　よ。
I'll help you.
Literally: "help (out) and + give (you) + よ."

I think the nuance of this construction is a bit tricky.

If you're not careful, it can even sound a little rude.

*GASP*

Being rude sucks, yeah? So we definitely want to avoid that.

I got you covered...

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What, exactly, does あげる mean?

If you have an introductory Japanese textbook, I can almost guarantee that there will be a section on あげる、くれる、and もらう.

Here's the overly simplified version:

1) I give to you. →　あげる
2) You give to me. →　くれる
3) I get from you. →　もらう

Let's save もらう ("to receive; to get") for another day, as it's a completely different meaning than the other two, which mean "to give." So...

1) I give to you. →　あげる
2) You give to me. →　くれる

Here is the slightly less simplified version:

1) I (or someone psychologically close to me) give to you (or someone psychologically far from me). →　あげる

2) You (or someone psychologically far from me) give to me (or someone psychologically close to me). →　くれる

Quiz!

You don't have to translate the full sentences, but which of the following "give(s)" would be translated to あげる and which would be くれる?

A - I gave my teacher an apple.
B - The police officer gave my mom an umbrella.
C - The shop staff gave my friend a coupon.
D - My brother gave the flower to his girlfriend.

Any guesses? Take your time...
🎁　🎁　🎁
✨　✨　✨
🎁　🎁　🎁
✨　✨　✨
🎁　🎁　🎁
✨　✨　✨
🎁　🎁　🎁
✨　✨　✨
🎁　🎁　🎁
✨　✨　✨
🎁　🎁　🎁
✨　✨　✨

Answers:
A - あげる
B - くれる
C - くれる
D - あげる

Here are full translations (in casual Japanese):

A:
先生にリンゴをあげた。
せんせい　に　リンゴ　を　あげた。
I gave my teacher an apple.
Literally: "teacher + に + apple + を + gave."
Note: I dropped off 私は（わたしは）from the beginning of the sentence, because usually it will be clear that "I" gave my teacher the apple.

B:
警察官がお母さんに傘をくれた。
けいさつかん　が　おかあさん　に　かさ　を　くれた。
The police officer gave my mom an umbrella.
Literally: "police officer + が + mother + に + umbrella + を + gave."
Note: So many "K" sounds!

C:
店員さんが（私の）友達にクーポン（を）くれた。
てんいんさん　が　（わたし　の）　ともだち　に　クーポン　を　くれた。
The shop staff gave my friend a coupon.
Literally: "shop member/employee + は (+ I + の) + friend + に + coupon + を + gave."

D:
お兄さんはその花を彼女にあげた。
おにいさん　は　その　はな　を　かのじょ　に　あげた。
My brother gave the flower to his girlfriend.
Literally: "older brother + は + that + flower + を + girlfriend/she + に + gave."

"Psychologically Close:" I, my mom, my friend, my brother.
"Psychologically Far:" my teacher, the police officer, the shop staff, his girlfriend.

Those examples are all for giving someone an object (i.e. a noun), but we can also "give actions" by attaching て-form verbs to あげる and くれる:

先生が教えてくれた。
せんせい　が　おしえて　くれた。
My teacher taught me (this).
Literally: "teacher + が + teach and + gave."
Note: We're not going to talk about は and が in this article, as that's a nightmare for another day, but the reason we say が here is that we're pointing out who taught me, and が is kind of like the "pointer particle."

レポート書いてあげた。
レポート　かいて　あげた。
I wrote the report for him.
Literally: "report + write and + gave."

Then, when we use ～ てあげる with よ it has the sense of "offering to do (something) for someone," like we saw initially:

持ってあげるよ。
もって　あげる　よ
I'll carry that for you.
Literally: "carry and + give (you) + よ."

手伝ってあげるよ。
てつだって　あげる　よ。
I'll help you.
Literally: "help (out) and + give (you) + よ."

OK? OK. Cool...

Despite the length of that tangent, it's not really the purpose of today's lesson, which is...

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The Hidden Nuance of ～ てあげる（よ）

The underlying nuance of あげるよ is that you are offering to hand somethingdown to someone.

In other words, it psychologically has the nuance that you are above the person who is receiving.

Situation: You're with a friend, and he has a heavy backpack, which appears to be giving him some trouble.

Consider the varying nuances of these two offers:

Offer #1: "I'll carry that for you."
Offer #2: "Want me to carry that?"

You might think that those two sentences have almost the same nuance, but they start to be significantly different if, for example, you are a skinny girl and your friend is self-conscious about his (lack of) muscles/strength. In Japanese, this slight difference increases to the point where #1 is like you're offering to (oh so kindly) do him a favor (while also pointing out that you'll be doing him a favor), whereas #2 sounds like you're just mentioning something that you're willing to do if he wants you to do it.

Confusing, yeah?

Let's look at the Japanese:

Offer #1:
持ってあげるよ。
もって　あげる　よ。
I'll carry that for you.
Literally: "carry and + give + よ."
Note: The nuance is that the listener needs help carrying it and/or can't carry it himself.

Offer #2:
持とうか？
もとう　か？
Want me to carry that?
Literally: "let's carry + か?"

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Does a nuance this small really matter?

Honestly, I don't know.

I get the sense that a lot of Japanese people don't even notice the nuances of their words when making ～ てあげる offers.

Consider this question on Japan's version of Yahoo! Answers:

「～ してあげる」という言い方にムカつくのって私だけですか？
「～ してあげる　という　いいかた　に　ムカつく　の　って　わたし　だけ　です　か？
Am I the only one who gets offended when people say "~shite ageru"?
Literally: "～ してあげる + という + way of saying + に + get offended / angry + の + って + I + only + is + か."
Note: This verb ムカつく for "to get angry/offended" is really common. I'd memorize it ^_^.

In particular, the person writing that question gets offended when her friends say things like:

〇〇 に連れていってあげる。
〇〇　に　つれていって　あげる。
I'll take you to 〇〇.
Literally: "〇〇 + に + take you along + give."
Note: She's using 〇〇 as a placeholder for "[place]."

今度 ✕✕ のお店教えてあげるね。
こんど　✕✕　の　おみせ　おしえて　あげる　ね。
Next time I'll take you to XX.
Literally: "this time / next time + XX + の + shop + teach and + give + ね."
Note: While earlier we saw 教える being used to mean, literally, "teach," this time it is closer to "inform" or "introduce." Or, in my translation, "take." Also, sometimes 今度 will mean "this time." Sometimes it will mean "next time." I should write a lesson on it, because I still mess it up all the time.

She then goes on to explain that she prefers phrasing like this:

一緒に〇〇 行こう。
いっしょ　に　〇〇　いこう。
Let's go to 〇〇.
Literally: "together + 〇〇 + let's go."

今度 ✕✕ のお店教えるね。
こんど　✕✕　の　おみせ　おしえる　ね。
Next time I'll show you ✕✕.
Literally: "this time / next time + ✕✕ + の + shop + teach + ね."

In other words, she prefers the constructions we looked at yesterday.

Nuances are tough, yeah?